Breaking news – moped gang locks down high school

I’ve just received as-yet unconfirmed rumors confirmed information of a gang of one or maybe two armed, moped-mounted bad guys doing an Indians-circling-the-huddled-settlers routine over at the Asheville City High School, resulting in a complete campus lock-down.

WTF? Armed gangs…on mopeds? Only in Asheville.

I’d love to see how that gang meeting went down. “Hey guys, I know we’re all tough and gun-totin’ and stuff, but man! We gotta stop doin’ drive-bys in my low-rider, man – these gas prices are killing me! I say we get mopeds. They’re almost motorcycles, right? And motorcycles are cool! Besides, they come in seafoam, cappuccino and pearl!”

Ahem. Anyway. More news as I know more.

Update: Apparently, it was something more like one or two guys with identity-obscuring full-face motorcycle helmets toting what appeared to be Uzis(!!!), and the police never did find them. School let out at 1pm, after a two-and-a-half-hour lockdown, with no further incident. It’s worth noting that a local college shares umbilical campus connectivity with the high school. I wonder if the guy was in the wrong parking lot or just passing through on his way to bigger game.

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One response to “Breaking news – moped gang locks down high school

  1. Pingback: Gang Awareness Training scares the piss out of me « Getting Things Done: A Year of Service

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