I’m riding a desk for the summer…wooohoooo!

Just heard after the last Friday meeting that they’ve taken me off the roster for the summer program – turns out there’s a whole lot more physically demanding, outdoorsy type stuff like backpacking and jumping off rocks into swimming holes and other forms of granola-induced, Choco-sandal-wearing madness than my shoulder is likely to put up with without risking permanent injury. Therefore, I’ll be spending my summer from school’s end to Americorps’ end updating databases and websites and doing other desk-based stuff instead of exploring the trails and byways of the Great Smoky Mts.

Now, before anyone gets all weepy on my account, let me just say that I’m not exactly distraught over this. Remember, you’re dealing with nerd-core geekiness here. I’m not exactly the outdoors type. I tend to break.

I mean, dude, I messed up my shoulder in a long-term fashion just installing a computer (granted, it was a heavy computer and I was leaning and reaching in ways I really shouldn’t have been, but still…).

Seriously, one of the primary reasons I went with this Americorps program, to the extent of willfully agreeing to spend a year neck-deep in grade-school-age kids (a concept, I might add, that instigated a Guinness-World-Record-sized collective spit-take from my entire extended family) – was that it appeared to be indoor-based. I’d spent a year scrambling over roofs, squelching through ankle-deep shoe-sucking mud and hauling splinter-ridden lumber around on a Habitat for Humanity site on my last Americorps tour, and as a result pretty much got my fill of the great outdoors. The only way I even allowed myself to consider doing another year was under the primary condition that I would choose something indoors.

Well, you can see how that worked out.

Crikey. We spent more time outdoors during just our first few weeks of orientation than I’d managed to do since I got out of the ‘corps in 2001. And now, when the plans for our summer program went from paddling around in city pools, exploring art museums and wandering around the tame, mulch-lined paths at the arboretum to merging our homework clubs with the YMCA’s outdoor wilderness adventure extravaganza-palooza program…well…let’s just say it had me scrambling for my paperwork trying to figure out how I’d managed to sign up for that.

Jeez, I can’t even cart a backpack full of lunch and paperwork a mile between my assignments without spending the next week in excruciating shoulder pain. No way in heck was I going to be able to haul a full pack on a hiking trip, or do any serious swimming, or get yanked around at the end of a ropes course or anything of that nature.

Anyway, turns out that I don’t have to worry about it now. They’ve lined up a summer’s worth of full time geekarific goodness – I’ll be laboring the summer away in comfortable clothes, doing computer based work and languishing under the character-depleting comfort of modern climate control.

It’s pathetic, I tell you. I almost wept in relief at the invitation to spend the summer indoors updating a database. Man, someone just needs to buy me one of those twenty-sided fuzzy dice sets for my car, stick a pocket protector in my shirt and call it a day. (Yes, I have those dice bookmarked within easy reach. Why do you ask?).

Heh…or you could just get me one of these lovely tee-shirts…I think it says it all, don’t you?

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