Bend over and kiss your rear goodbye

This month our school system has been doing emergency planning and as a result, we’ve been doing a bunch of drills. The fire drill was done much earlier in the year. Last week, we did a tornado drill (since I was still groggy with post-traumatic-sleep-deprivation syndrome, I enjoyed the opportunity to crawl into a protected corner and veg out for 10 minutes).

However, today we did a drill that’s a new one to me – a lockdown drill.

This is a drill to practice in case there is ever an armed intruder or other such threat in the building (!). The correct action involves locking yourself in the nearest room that has no windows and, if you’re a teacher, slipping colored laminated papers under your door to indicate whether or not your classroom is accounted for and okay…or not.

We most certainly didn’t do that when I was in school. Fire drills, sure. Tornado drills, definitely (I did the bulk of my schooling in southeastern Missouri – we all knew how to do tornado drills in our sleep, which is usually when you need them come to think of it). But “run away, run away, there’s a madman loose in the school with a gun!” drills? Uh, no.

Holy crap. Boy, do I ever feel sheltered.

Anyway, apparently we all made it through the drill alive. One sidebar: The office side-room where I was huddled with some of the office staff has an attached bathroom – note to self, always head for that room first because if there’s a mad gunman shooting up the joint, you just know I’m gonna be needing that little amenity.

Heh. At least we’re not still doing those pointless “duck and cover” atomic bomb blast drills. I always thought that the only value in getting under your desk in the event of a nuclear holocaust is to make it easier for folks to do a body count later:

Guys in hazmat suits shift the door of a classroom and sweep the interior with a flashlight. The suit-to-suit radio crackles to life.

“Yep, Jed, I can clearly see about 20 distinct, desk-like lumps in there, give or take. Just put down 20 and let’s move on to the next room.”

In other news, I’m sick as a dog again and yet another of our ‘corps is down with potential strep throat (luckily, not me as far as I know). Damn, I haven’t been this sick since, well, since the last time I was in school…hey…wait. D’OH!

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