Two posts in one – called to account

Sorry for skipping yesterday. I came down with a bad case of “stress/exhaustion/possibly fending off nasty going-around tummy bug/post-inspiration let-down/who knows what” malaise and went to bed almost as soon as I got home. Between the truck troubles, the adrenaline rush and subsequent crash that always follows one of my “brilliant flashes of big picture inspiration” ideas, dealing with the kids and trying to make the finances balance out over all of that, I think I just gave out. Not feeling much better today. I’m going to bed soon tonight, too. Hoping that maybe some power sleep catch-up will do the trick.

To update, yesterday was pretty slack in the morning – I spent most of the time helping out in the library’s Book Fair, which is a week-long book sale that they use to raise money for more books and stuff. They were short of volunteers Wed, and I was short of pressing work, so I “volunteered” to sit up there and read in between bouts of helping kids choose books and pay for them. It was alarmingly fun to be around kids who were actually excited about books and reading, who wanted both bad enough to spend money on them. Dunno if I’m getting close to burnout or just getting jaded, but when the first “customers” came in and started oooing and ahhhing and pawing over the books in their enthusiasm to own their own, it really caught me by surprise. Wish I could bottle some of that and slip it into the homework club’s juice supply.

Yesterday afternoon was interesting in that at the end of the day, the development director came over with a board member for the Weed and Seed organization (a group that works to “weed” out drugs and “seed” self sufficiency in under-served areas) to meet our supervisor, who was visiting/working with us that day. Since everyone seemed to be there, I decided it was a good time to talk to them all about my “grand vision” for creating microenterprise incubators in the developments. The development director and the Weed and Seed board member were ecstatically supportive (turns out the board member is a big economic development go-to gal), which was cool. The response of my supervisor, however, was interesting. But I think I want to let my reaction to it simmer a bit and give it it’s own post. So you’ll just have to chill and check back later.

Today was pretty much the same old same old. The only interesting thing being that the program director wants to speak to me about my comments at the Black Asheville conference. I figured that might happen. She did note that I wasn’t in trouble, which is nice to know, but wanted to talk about how my comments were perceived. I imagine my perception of pissing some people off was on the mark. Hopefully, it was my tone or delivery that aggravated them (which I readily admit I was personally disappointed with) and not the content of my comments (which is the flat-out, god’s-honest truth about the way it is and for which I stand behind 100%). If someone needs an apology about the former, I have no trouble with that. I’m still kicking myself for not being able to control my emotions better. If they want a “sorry” about the latter, though…well…I hope they brought a snack. It’ll be a while.

Anyway, that’s about it for this post. I’m still not quite all here and I want to wrap up my wind-down early tonight and hit the hay before it gets too late.

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