Today is our Friday meeting, and we watched the second part of the racism training DVD we’ve been running. It’s important, no doubt, but I hate watching it because it just fills me with a sort of grieving bleakness to watch the sins of our forefathers dragged out of the comfortably enshrouding shadows of historical record and out into the light of the present day awareness. And with this new legislation which seems inevitably passable making some forms of torture legal, despite the fact that doing so is against everything America purports to stand for, there’s just this feeling that we never learn, that it will never get better and that there is no hope for the true spiritual and cultural civilization of mankind as a whole.
Maybe it’s just the coincidence of watching this DVD at this particular juncture in time (stir in a little PMS depression and you’ve got a nasty little brew). Or maybe it’s just a symptom of an ongoing autoimmune reaction to my own cultural skin that started when the current administration was elected and immediately started mucking about and turning the land of the free into their own private for-profit empire, but I’m just about full up with the hearing about, contemplating, dealing with and trying to figure out what to do about man’s inhumanity to man. I’m going to go out, get something fatty and carbo-laden to eat and pretend all is well for at least 48 hours, despite any visible evidence to the contrary that may seep into my hyper-caloric brain-numbing filters. After that, I promise I’ll come back out into the real world and resume all previous efforts to save the world (or, at least, to physically pound this hell-bound handbasket into a slightly less aerodynamically efficient form). But for this weekend, anyway, my social awareness and give-a-crap-ability are officially off duty. Chiao